prayer.

ahhh!! 힘들다~ 울고싶다~~ what's wrong with me??!!?

Lord God, whats wrong with me?!
there's so much bottled up inside. so much that i can't think cuz i'm thinking too much.
i feel so angry. frustrated. tired. stressed. drained.
i just want to cry, but no tears will fall.
i wish i could just cry it all out. but that won't do any justice.
i still feel this "thing" stuck right in my chest getting bigger and bigger.
honestly, there are times when i just.... sigh*

God, please hold onto me. don't let go.
Father God, i know you're there. i know you're listening.
i know you want me to stop all of this and turn to you.

here am i. i'm here... right here...
open my eyes. open my heart. take my hand and pull me up.
there's no one i can turn to, no one who knows me like you do.
God, open my eyes to see your grace and mercy. love and hope in this world.
these struggles are nothing compared to the sufferings you had to bare.
teach me to find peace and joy through it all.
teach me that these struggles/trials are part of your greater plans to show us your love.

i want to scream on the top of my lungs. i want to scream and shout and kick and cry.
but nothing will come out.

God, help me.
help me.
help me to turn to you...