lessons learned...

God surely listens and answer prayers. sometimes it seems like i'm making it up, but when i step outside of my lil box, it can't be me who's letting things happen out of coincidences. i mean i don't believe in coincidences. i believe it's all God's doing and there is a reason for why it happens in that specific time. does that make sense??

heh, it does in my head haha but it's God for sure who's teaching me through my wonderful sisters He placed in my life. without these sisters, i don't how i would've been able to reflect back and connect it all.  it's definitely the Holy Spirit working in them and God using them as His instruments to help me put my head together.

so, the lessons i've learned so far:

1. God answers prayers.
2. God takes away your distractions/hinderances so that you can focus on what He has planned for you.
3. you have to give others the opportunity to bless you [financially, rides, etc.]

4. it's ok to express your feelings and share your thoughts.

5. don't be wishy-washy. keep your word/promise. let your yes be yes and no be no.

6. ministry will be hard and stressful, but God is good :)

these are things that are so simple, easy and should've been we all know/learned long before, but it's more important to me because these are things that i had trouble learning. heh, honestly, i'm kinda "slow" haha not to put myself down or anything, but in order for me to fully understand and realize, at times, i have to experience it myself in order to learn that specific lesson. and boy, i've made many mistakes and gone through quite a few experiences for me to learn the lesson -- in a hard way.

i'm really thankful for the struggles i faced this past couple of months. God showed me the ugly sins in my heart, even the ones that were right in front of me [the ones i knew i needed to confront and change, but was never successful and always failed at changing]. 

i know no one wants to pray for brokenness because GOD REALLY ANSWERS YOUR PRAYERS when you do. i've been praying for brokenness, healing, molding and renewed/changed heart. and that's what God's been doing in my life. the stress/fatigue/tiredness from work, loneliness inside my heart, feeling of emptiness all around, etc... were some things that God used to break me. mann, it tore me up to the point where i've become numb to it. i was so numb inside that i didn't even know i was numb. but, honestly, by the grace and mercy of God, i am able to confront one sin at a time as i experience it by making mistakes and falling and being rebuked [out of love] and venting and healing.

suffering is part of God's plan for us -- to show us and teach us to find joy and peace even in the mist of it all. suffering is part of the Gospel. suffering isn't bad and God didn't promise us that we'd be prosperous and free from the sufferings of this world. instead He told us to carry our cross and follow Him or else we cannot be His disciple [Luke 14: 27]. and carrying our cross will be burdensome and heavy. however, God made a promise to us -- we do not have to carry our cross or burdens by ourselves. He promised to be there with us, helping us carry our yoke [Matthew 11:28-30].

even tho i have a long way to go and my list will grow longer and longer, i know this was God teaching me to spiritually prepare for japan and for my future ministry. and although i will fail and fall, i know God placed people in my life to rebuke me, teach me, and help me through it all. i'm embarrassed to learn it through the mistakes that i made/will make, but i'm not perfect. i'm the worst sinner, but God still loves me. He loves me for who i am, for i am fearfully and wonderfully made [Psalm 139: 14] by the Creator, my Father, my God.