its been a while...

it's been a while. haven't been blogging for quite a while now... i think the last tym was in high school with xanga haha but lately, i've been wanting to write down my thoughts and all, but didn't exactly find a blog site. i didn't want to go back to xanga... so i found this site through new friends and then found out that other friends already had it haha ....yea, i'm kinda slow. super slow at tyms... but, i've finally come around to it and here's my first entry. yipeee? heh :P

anyways, can't believe tym is going by so fast. who would've thought it'd be 2010 already?? sometimes it feels so surreal cuz i still feel lyk i'm 18 and in high school. but yeaa, i'm not anymore. heh... so many things happened since then and honestly, i'm so thankful for every moment of it. there were definitely many ups&downs, but this past year has been the highest point (and a new beginning) where God revealed a lot more than before. Or maybe, it was me finally taking my shades off to clearly see what i've been missing.

as i look back at 2009, i think there were many more downs than ups -- with family, friends, relationships. but through it all -- the challenges, heartaches, and the emptiness here and there -- God's been showing me the simplest thing ever. HE is in CONTROL. i mean, i've always known that, but it was such an eye opener to really see it happening in my life. Everything had to happen the way it did for me to be where i am and see the things the way i see it now and the past year. it was just the perfect timing. so perfect that only God could have done it.

now, its january 2010. God hasn't stopped opening my eyes. through costa rica missions, He has taught me what it means to have faith in Him and what happens when you do. and once again, He steps out to say that He is in control. all we have to do is have faith and trust Him. i know that this is all something that we know, but honestly, i haven't really experienced it this deeply. and now, i understand. it's like a whole new level. and especially with the peace and grace and joy i've come to know and feel, it makes it so much more meaningful and WOW! ...i'm speechless.

you know, there won't be a time where i'll ever stop struggling or facing the darkness. in fact, i know i will face many more hardships. but i can truly testify that i have His light guiding my way, giving me hope, courage, and confidence to go through the hardships with a smile knowing that at the end, there's going to be a greater blessing to embrace :) heh, i love it. i'm scared and excited at the same time, but i'm not worried. nope, not worried one bit ... ehhh, maybe i'll take that 'one bit' outt :P i am worried, but.. [sings...]

"i've got peace deep down inside of me. God's peace and love has set me free. Jesus said don't worry, it's good enough for me. i've got peace deep down inside of me! the flowers in the field and the birds up above. don't worry about a thing because Jesus knows. Just like a splendid flower, they blossom and grow. just like a peaceful sparrow they will always know."
heh, i love children's praise songs. goes straight to the point so that anyone can understand it and sing along to it~ :)